mom vs marathon

So, I’ve learned that I can’t run and run and run off the fat around my tummy and hips. I’ve earned that abs are made in the kitchen. I’ve learned the lifting weights will help tighten and tone my body. And I’ve learned that interval training–getting your heart rate up to 85-90% of max–for shorter durations can complement the weight training. And I’ve learned that long runs can stress the body out and make it hold on to fat. (At least, I think these are right. Still learning…)

I remember the spring of 2011. I was training for my first marathon. My training pretty much went like this:

-3 days of running (2 mid-week 30-min run and 1 long run) – Jeff Galloway’s training plan

-3 days of Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred

-Occasional cross training in bike or pool

My body was transforming, though. My belly flattened and my hips and thighs got skinnier. I can see it in pictures from marathon race day. That pink shirt is tight on my belly now.

Amanda, me and Stacie. It’s been too long since I’ve seen these two ladies.

Marathon training partners. Me and Zoe. I miss my running buddy!

Just a little nervous.

What was I doing then?

First of all, I wasn’t running that much. Two 30-minute runs during the week is not much. During long runs, we used Jeff Galloway’s run-walk-run method because I was very scared of getting injured (fractured my shin prior to my 2010 marathon and didn’t get to run it). So…I was essentially doing a type of interval training on those long runs. Running 5 minutes and walking 1. This probably kept my body from being too stressed. Plus the calorie burn of long runs over 10 miles is curazee.

Then, I was doing my Jillian DVD consistently. It included some weight and interval training. Three times per week. That’s all it was.

So, I was doing some things right back then.

My plan for the future. I have three races coming up in June: A 50-mile relay, a sprint tri and a half marathon. I am going to cut my running to 3x/week. I’m going to swim 1x/week and I’m going to bike at least 2x/week. I’m going to weight train at least 5x/week with three of those days being 30 minutes (and the others only 15 minutes) for now. This could change. But this is the goal. I’m going to eat more veggies and protein, and I’m going to keep my grains whole and in moderation. I don’t necessarily believe in cutting out foods, but I’m going to continue cut down on my dairy and see if that helps my skin even more. And I’m aiming for 100 ounces of water a day.

I’d been trying to figure out what training plan to use for my marathon in December. I’d been leaning toward Hansons, which is a lot of running. A lot. I do like the idea of that, but I also like to look lean, and I’m not going for any BQ’s or Olympic-qualifying times here, so I think I may use Jeff Galloway’s run-walk-run method again. It worked for me before, why not use it again? I had a wonderful first marathon experience. I want that again. And I want to look good running it.

Have you noticed that long runs and long bike rides don’t seem to do much for weight loss?

I have since, you know, I’ve been at about the same weight for over a year now (nothing I do really seems to work). Like I’ve mentioned before, I’m actually fine with the number on my scale, but it’s the tummy that hangs over my pants, the blubbery looking thighs, the squishy hips, and basically the fact that you cannot see much (if any) muscle definition on my body at all despite working out quite a bit.

I exercise 5, 6 or more hours per week. What the f? I just want the way my body looks to reflect my hard work. Is that too much to ask?

I feel like if I lose about 10 pounds, maybe I’ll be able to see the muscle definition. But I don’t know. I still feel like I have these layers of fat over my muscles. Clearly, cardio isn’t working. I’ve added more strength.

I eat clean 85% of the time. I don’t buy crap. I don’t eat a lot of candy or much sugar at all (so little that as soon as I do eat it, I can feel it coursing through my body and I hate that feeling).  I don’t drink soda. I take my coffee black. I eat fruits and vegetables. I eat lean protein and whole grains. There are days that are exceptions, of course, but most of the time, I eat very well.

My work outs are almost daily. Mondays are usually an hour of swimming (or strength and biking combined for 45 minutes to an hour). Tuesdays are typically 30-40 minutes of running with 15 minutes of strength. Wednesdays are usually biking for 30 minutes and 15 minutes of strength. Thursdays: repeat Tuesday. Fridays are an hour of swimming or a 45-minute run and strength. Saturday is my long ride or my long run and Sunday is whatever I didn’t do on Saturday. Occasionally, I’ll get tired and take a day completely off. Maybe I am overtraining? I mean, I’m only training for a sprint tri, so I don’t know how I could train any less for this triathlon.

Ugh. I feel like I need help, but I’m not sure where to turn or what to do or change. I just want to look like the athlete I feel I am.

Setting the alarm before 5 a.m. Squeezing workouts in on a lunch hour. Waiting for someone to get home so you can run out. Arranging child care. Washing workout clothes multiple times per week. Planning food ahead of time: no dairy, nothing too heavy. Fitting in a workout right before bed. Changing clothes all the time. Showering all the time. Getting to bed early enough. Getting up early enough.

Ugh. Exercise is f#@%ing hard. And some days I just don’t want to deal with it.

Like this morning.

I set my alarm for 4:55 a.m. Went to bed at 10 p.m. The plan was to get in my trainer ride in the morning before work, so 5-5:30 a.m. in order to go swimming at night since my sweet husband (who was horrified when I told him I’d just “wing” the swim portion of the tri in June), reminded me that he was capable of putting our son to bed without me.

But today at 4:55 a.m., I got up, crossed the room and hit “snooze.” At 5:09 a.m., I got up and went into the bathroom to put on my workout clothes.

At 5:16, I was half-dressed for my workout. (I am slow in the morning.) At 5:17, I took off my spandex and put my pajamas on. I set my alarm clock for 5:45, and returned to bed. Yes, I was 5 minutes late to work this morning.

Now it is night time. I am making dinner. My husband, who works later hours, has not come home yet. I should be in my bathing suit ready to dash out as soon as he gets here. But I am not. I am typing this blog post. I am waiting for some cheese to melt. I am feeling so very tired.

Whenever anyone asks me for advice for new runners (it happens occasionally), I say, “Don’t think, just run.” Because if you really stop to think about it, exercise is f#@%ing hard. Not so much the actual workout,  but everything that comes before and after it. And some days I just don’t want to deal with it.

Like tonight.